Monday, October 24, 2005

Ups and downs

Everything constantly changes, even if it's only by minute amounts. It's the minute amounts that are the worrying changes. When things change rapidly, it's easy to notice and take action. The minute changes aren't noticable until you compare them with the way they used to be.
I think i'm slowly sliding into a deep depression. I can't be entirely sure, but I've not felt excited about anything for a long time. Even getting inspiration has been an effort. Whilst I've generally been feeling apethetic, life has seemed particularly dull lately. Even seeing mark thomas was, to be truthful, disappointing. I have no appetite for work, or reading, and whilst i'll still tinker with things, i don't think I've had the same "stay up all night" enthusiasm.
I don't know What's causing this, whether it's the lack of sleep, or whether that's because of the depression. I feel the need to batten down the hatches and set in for what will be a very dull, but still unbearably difficult, time ahead. Not crisis point yet, but it feels like the brink of something. I just wish it wasn't happening.

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